Jasmine Hart

I really liked this. I love how the repetition suggests weariness, and the internal rhyme which you have in certain lines is really great. (E.g "I'm lost and I'm lonely, ...

It's a nice piece, but I'm not sure about the first line. It reads a little strangely I think. Maybe try "As for writing this down." I'd omit "absolutely", as ...

I've been writing poetry for years, and feel my improovement to be slow and gradual. I thought this was the case with everyone, until I started reading your stuff. Seriously, ...

Lol. This is so funny! The rhythm in stanza three is kind of out...I'd make suggestions on how to imprrove it, but for some reason I wanted to read this ...

I think I've fallen in love with this joke. I just love it. I'd put "of my attire" on its own line, and the same for "take you home". Some ...

Hi. I like this piece overall, and Kit has made some good points. I have a few little suggestions; (I'll try hard not to repeat what Kit has said!) I'd ...

Who Killed Lord Potemkin? Completed on Valentines Day, 2006 Scene I: The stage is dark and empty, except for a desk and chair DSR. One spotlight shines on the desk ...

Wow. I love your imagery.This just flows so beautifully, and it's so powerful. There are shivers starting at the base of my neck. I especially love the first image, and ...

I really liked this, and your imagery is amazing.The flow was very favourite parts were; like a mouse trap catching a rat instead. Lady luck is too much of a ...

I won't say this was nice, but I thought it was good. I'd change "runny" in the third line, as you've already used it and I don't think this is ...

I love how you get better and better with everything you write. It's amazing to watch. The first stanza is great, but I think I'd change the third line to: ...

It is nice. By saying "ripe feeling" do you mean that the berries feel physically ripe, or thay transmit a sense of "ripeness" along with the happiness which I think ...

My initial reaction was like Fangala's. So also was my last impression. Your rhythm here is really great. As I was reading through it, I was like "Hey...this sounds like ...

I liked the style of this, and I loved the first line. Very Plath-esque! I'm not sure about the poppies glistening...I know you must mean the dew...but maybe refer to ...

I'd stand in the downpour, ( I'd omit the comma here ) Until twilight if you asked. Heavy drops of inky-coloured rain, ( I'd get rid of "coloured", as I ...